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Tweets
- Getting ready to coach the Paul Revere wrestling team in our second match of the year.Jan 12, 12 from web Reply, Retweet, Favorite
- I'm at the Hollywood Improv tonight 9:30Jan 08, 12 from web Reply, Retweet, Favorite
- Tonight I'm playing RT @TheImprov: Show: Bret Ernst - Improv Miami, FL Comedy Club | http://t.co/leuwHExa http://t.co/z85D6DSU
- got lost at the beach todayNov 21, 11 from web Reply, Retweet, Favorite
- @BeeNicole1617 it would be awesome if you did.
- Went to a wedding yesterday. The wedding was a bore but it was fun to watch the bridesmaids get drunk and talk shit about the bride.Nov 20, 11 from web Reply, Retweet, Favorite
- Spending time with the relatives for the holidays sounds like a good idea until you arrive and are reminded why you moved so far away.Nov 20, 11 from web Reply, Retweet, Favorite
- Been traveling like crazy finally got to sleep in an actual bed today instead of airplane or car.Nov 18, 11 from web Reply, Retweet, Favorite
- @michaeltownes Congrats on your set glad i could be there to see itNov 17, 11 from web Reply, Retweet, Favorite
- Some people take Halloween to serious. A guy dressed as a dog licked my face. Then he humped my dates leg.Oct 30, 11 from web Reply, Retweet, Favorite
- @TERA1PATRICK lucky bastard
- Back hurts and sick but still working.Oct 28, 11 from web Reply, Retweet, Favorite
- @AriShaffir Nothing compares to the Cali chronic
- @j_rimer Hey John great working with you also. Look forward to the next show.Oct 26, 11 from web Reply, Retweet, Favorite
- I'm playing the San Diego comedy store tonight.Oct 25, 11 from web Reply, Retweet, Favorite
- I had a stalker at the comedy club, I'm lucky though that my stalker had some big ole titties.Oct 25, 11 from web Reply, Retweet, Favorite
- Woke up late but ready to get Saturday started.Oct 22, 11 from web Reply, Retweet, Favorite
- @funnyflips hey Josh great show last night. Thanks manOct 22, 11 from web Reply, Retweet, Favorite
- After a show a girl said to me "you were cute till you started talking" I still consider that a compliment.Oct 18, 11 from web Reply, Retweet, Favorite
- I use to not be able to afford to eat. Now I'm so busy I forget to eat.Oct 18, 11 from web Reply, Retweet, Favorite
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